No Matter What
by K. McKinney
Summary: Simply put, my version of how I would like Bella, Edward, and Jacob to deal with Bella's pregnancy.


**No Matter What**

The honeymoon was definitely over, anyone could see that. Life had become very complicated for Mr. and Mrs. Cullen; quite complicated in fact, and unforeseeingly difficult for Edward and Bella since their wedding as their marital bliss had come to a screeching halt upon discovering Bella was miraculously, more like mysteriously, rather downright scarily, pregnant. Edward was terrified, not of fatherhood, but of what kind of child was growing inside his wife. It had become clear from the beginning that the baby was not exactly…human. Adding to his concern was Bella's genuine lack of the word and her naiveté and contentment at the prospect of carrying this child, a child that had been sired by a vampire. What was supposed to be implausible was now a reality.

And that reality had become a serious topic of contention between the two. Edward couldn't understand why Bella would want to risk her life to give birth to what he was convinced had to be a devilish creature, a monster, and Bella couldn't convince Edward that she wanted his baby more than her own human life simply because it was his.

**Chapter 1**

Bella lay across the Cullen family's sofa which had become her permanent residence, at Edward's adamant insistence, of course, since returning from Brazil. He, in turn, kept a constant vigil by her side. She was only weeks into her pregnancy, but her stomach seemed well into its second trimester. The intense growth of the fetus and the demands it had put on her body, which included indulging its blood lust, left her ill and drastically weakened.

"It's killing you," was all Edward could surmise every time he looked at her ashen skin and deeply bruised, brown eyes, not the warm chocolate he'd come to love.

She knew what was on his mind and so she reached her hand out toward his in an effort to reassure him, but he spurned the gesture. 'Ouch,' Bella tried to mask her disappointment for she knew it was fear, not malice that made him so standoffish—and also love.

"Edward, I really think everything's going to be okay. You'll see. I know it's hard to believe right now and I know I look awful and some things have been unpleasant, but try to understand, I'm going to survive this, one way or the other," he shot her a reproachful look at the implied jab of her aspiring immortality, "I know this baby is going to be fine. Besides, I could never hurt something that was a part of you, Edward. No, matter what it cost me."

"Not even if it cost you _me_?" he snapped back.

She flinched at his biting words, his hardened gaze making her more uncomfortable, but not uncertain. "Edward, this is our baby. Yes, I know neither one of us even thought such a thing was possible, but somehow, for some reason it happened. And it is happening, Edward. I want this baby. It's your child. Don't you see? My love for you is so great that I would risk my own life to make sure a life you created survived."

While he should have felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude and compassion toward his wife, his anxiety over losing her was far greater than his paternal feelings, "Oh, Bella, stop saying that!"

"I'm sorry" she quivered.

Edward's emotions were a wreck. He felt exhausted and he wished that at that moment he could sleep. Sighing heavily, "No, Bella, I'm sorry, I don't mean to yell at you." She realized then even Adonis' had their breaking points.

Edward closed his eyes knowing there would be no peace.

He maintained his post, but his body language was vexed and Bella gulped at the clarity of it, her voice barely audible, "You hate the baby," a statement more than a question.

At first, he didn't respond and then in an even tone, "I hate what it's doing to you. I hate anything that would threaten your life."

For a brief moment Edward smiled, "That even includes myself, sometimes,"

Bella held on to Edward's brief levity; "Oh, it's not so bad," her remark making a half-hearted attempt to match his humor, but he was not amused. He rushed at her so quickly she didn't even see him move. Instantly, he was there.

"Not so _bad_," Edward exclaimed. "Look at you, Bella!" His swift hand pulled her sweatshirt from her torso revealing a grotesquely, round belly that was a roadmap of spidery black and red veins on mottled, grayish white flesh. Bella tried to pull her shirt down, but his grip was absolute.

"Does this look like a healthy and happy pregnancy to you? Are you glowing like expectant mothers are supposed to? Do other mothers sip on microwaved blood through a straw to feed their unborn children?" his sarcasm seething. "Thanks to me, who knows what kind of monster is inside you, waiting to kill you at its birth."

"You don't know that, Edward," she whispered.

"Neither do you," chiding back.

Bella's sunken, brown eyes teared up, "Do you hate me too, then?"

Edward turned away from her, but not before his silent heart caved, "No, Bella. Never. But do you have any idea what I go through? How I agonize over this? The guilt I feel?"

She remained silent as he expressed his troubled soul.

"Do you? I've waited a hundred years for you, Bella, and now that I've found you, you want me to risk, no, _accept_ losing you to…to this…this _thing_!" his disgust resonating as he jumped up from the floor. Edward ran his hands through his bronzed hair while he paced about in frustration. "Look what I've done to us, to you! If I'd known this was even remotely possible, I would have never touched you. We'd still be virgins to this day."

Had she not been so pale and ill, Bella would have surely blushed bright crimson at Edward's revealing remarks.

She weakly replied, "It's not your fault, Edward."

He spun around with an anguished look marring his perfect features. "Of course it is! You should be the one hating me! In fact, I wish you _would_…hate me." Worn out, Edward hung his head down in defeat, covering his beautiful face with his hands. "I should have stayed away, Bella, let you be with Jacob. Let you have a human life where you could have had beautiful, normal children," he thought for a moment, "at least more normal than what mine is going to be."

The silence that followed was anything but tranquil. Edward's voice, thick with emotion, drew blood, "I should have never married you, Bella. Jacob was right. It was terribly selfish of me to make you mine, to bring you into my world knowing all that you would have to give up. I'm not worth the price you have to pay."

His words were like Juliet's dagger, stabbing, sinking into Bella's heart, the pain overflowing.

She feebly reached for him, "No, Edward. That's not true."

Edward missed the pang of sorrow that crossed her stricken face, but when he heard the sudden change in Bella's heartbeat, in a flash, he was back at her side, face contorted with worry at hearing her gasp and seeing her body jerk off the sofa. Bella rocked uncontrollably and all Edward could do was hold her hand as she mightily gripped his.

"Carlisle, come quick!" he yelled. "Bella, honey, are you all right? What's happening?" Edward was mortified. Bella couldn't speak. Her breath had been caught by the baby repositioning itself inside her compact womb; clearly, it was more than what Bella's mortal frame could handle, though no one, not even Carlisle, knew just how big she or the baby would get before it was ready to be born. They all came in, Carlisle, Esme, Rose, Emmet, Jasper and Alice, and watched with riveted fascination as what appeared to be a fist, no two, and maybe a heel or a foot, poked and stretched their way across Bella's tight skin.

While in tremendous pain, Bella was moderately aware of everyone, including Edward, watching her and as hard as she tried to keep quiet for their sakes, a scream tore loose. The vampires surrounded her, Carlisle doing his best as a doctor to care for her. The others gawked as she writhed in agony, her knuckles completely white from clenching her blanket and Edward's fingers, her teeth bared in a grimace that could have rivaled one of their own. Her breath was quick, panting as she felt the baby continue to move within her. After what seemed like an eternity, the pain finally began to subside.

Edward's golden eyes were fixated on her.

"It's oaky, now," she exhaled roughly, feeling winded and tired. "The baby was just turning. I think it doesn't have much wiggle room in there." She rested her hands on her stomach, rubbing it gingerly, "It's okay, baby. I'm here. I'm your mama and I'm going to take good care of you. I wont' let anything happen to you."

Watching Bella talk to their unborn child, the child that gave all indications it was not human, a fiend that craved human blood, letting all who could hear her, mainly Edward, he presumed, that no matter what, she was determined to have it; that she loved it and that she would give her life for it was more than his tormented soul could bear. It was at that moment that Edward's anger erupted and before his hyper senses were even aware of what he was doing, he had picked up the nearby antique crystal vase Alice had given Esme as a Mother's Day gift and propelled it with such force at the wall that not only did it shatter with a thunderous crash, pulverizing much of the glass shards into powder, but it gouged out a significant section of it.

All activity within the room ceased. Bella's eyes were wide with shock and horror; they seemed to match Edward's own as he was undoubtedly terrified by his actions. His family became like statues as they stared at him.

Carlisle, always calm in his demeanor, stepped forward and put his hand on Edward's rigid shoulder. "That's enough, son."

Edward was immediately stricken by a tremendous sense of guilt, his body visibly straining under the weight of it. "Esme, Alice, please forgive me," he humbly posed, his eyes downcast in shame. "I'm so sorry to have done that."

"It's all right, Edward," Esme sympathized.

"No, it isn't." Clenching his fists, he laughed dryly, "You know what's funny about this? Even though I possess the power of either heaven or hell, it's not enough."

"Enough for what, Edward?" Esme asked.

He turned to look directly at Bella, his amber eyes distraught, a tortured angel filled with suffering, "To save her. To save you from yourself, Bella. To save you for me."

The fight in him was gone. There was only despair. The misery Bella felt inside herself was great, not just for her, but more so for Edward. She knew he loved her and her love for him was infinite, unquestionably so; nevertheless, she knew she was hurting him in a way that couldn't be easily explained or dismissed, that it was unintentional didn't matter.

**Chapter 2**

Bella was experiencing déjà vu in the worst way. Her fear of abandonment issues were in full throttle as she listened to her husband state his plans.

"I just need some time Bella, don't worry, I love you. I'll always love you. Whether you have this baby or not, live or die, nothing can nor will change that. It's just that having almost lost you once before, because I tried to give you up…well, you can't expect me to do that again. I won't do it. I won't give you up. Not even for the child."

His mind was set. "Edward, _please_, don't go," her eyes pleading as they welled with tears.

Edward remembered the devastation he caused when he left her before and now he was doing it again. Except this time, it was far worse not just for Bella, but for him as well. He so badly wanted to die when he thought she actually had done so. Hence, the incredible joy, the relief he felt when she came for him…now, he was back in that desolate place even though she was his wife and all was supposed to be perfect and beautiful and happy. Or, at least happy.

"Where will you go?" Bella croaked.

He didn't look back. "I don't know," his own voice breaking, betraying his intended iron will.

And with that, Edward quietly left the house. No one stopped him. He knew no one would, not even Carlisle.

**Chapter 3**

Great wrenching sobs tore through Bella. She cried inconsolably, collapsing as Esme enclosed her in a stony embrace.

"Don't worry, Bella, Edward will be back. I promise."

Bella buried her head on Esme's shoulder, desperately shaking back and forth as she wept. "He's so angry, I don't know what to do!" she sobbed.

Esme affectionately caressed Bella's hair as she held her. "He's afraid, Bella. Edward has never loved anyone until he met you. As his mother, I must tell you that when he decided to leave that first time because he felt it was the only way to protect you, in order to let you live, he would sacrifice his own happiness, it broke my heart that there was nothing I could do to stop or comfort him. He became completely hopeless and lost. I begged him to stay with me, but his mind was set. I had to knowingly accept that he might choose death."

Bella's teary eyes looked up at her, "You knew what he was going to do?"

Esme slowly nodded. "I may not be Edward's biological mother, but I am one still, and a mother always knows when her child's heart is in peril. I truly ached for him, and myself, because I was torn. I honestly didn't know how he _could_ go on without you, even though I would have wanted him to, but I honestly couldn't imagine it. So, I tried to prepare myself for the worst, so much so that you can't even begin to understand the elation I felt when we found out you were, indeed, alive and that you and Alice were bringing him home, and that fate was going allow you two to be together. You are my daughter, now, Bella and Edward is my son, but he's feeling exactly as I did when I thought he was lost to us forever. Hopeless, powerless, but most of all, hurt. Hurt because he sees the baby, _his_ baby, as your certain death and he feels you won't fight to stay alive for him, that you are so willing to accept death over his love. I must admit, it's hard to see him so upset."

Bella continued to fall apart. "I'm so sorry, Esme. I didn't mean to hurt him. ..or you. I never _wanted_ to hurt Edward," crying hysterically.

Esme hoped to soothe her, "I don't say this to further upset you, Bella. I want you to know we love you very much and we'll support you, regardless of what happens. Just remember that Edward thought you died once before, he's determined to not let that happen again…at any cost. You must be patient with him. He loves you so much that the thought you'd willingly allow yourself to be harmed for his sake is frightening to him right now. But, his love for you is true."

******

Run. That was all he could think to do. Run, as his feet not once touched the ground. Run, as he scaled rivers, trees, mountains, and rocks. Run, as the evening landscape flew by, a mixture of stars, dark trees, and shadows. Run, back to the jungle, the ocean, heck, the desert! Anywhere. Everywhere. But, he wasn't fast enough. Edward's supernatural speed couldn't outrun his thoughts. 'Bella…Bella…Bella'. Her name was every footstep, her scent was the wind all around. And the darkness hid nothing. He wanted to be like a black hole, completely void of thoughts and feelings, numb, but she was still there. So he ran faster. And faster. So fast, that as he was when he sought out the Volturri, the naturally observant, always responsible, and highly considerate Edward paid no regard to his recklessness as he crossed the forbidden, Quileute treaty line. It did not go unnoticed.

**Chapter 4**

"Bella, you need to sleep now. You're a nervous wreck. You need rest."

It was true, she really did look like the walking dead, even more so now that Edward was gone, but more like a zombie with her slack hair, hollowed cheeks, and empty eyes; not the cool, stylistic way the Cullens did.

"I'm afraid to go to sleep," she whimpered to Carlisle.

"Why?" he asked, genuinely concerned. While on their honeymoon, Bella had endured vivid nightmares about a peculiar child that was supposedly hers. All along, she'd kept her varying dreams to herself, but when she realized she was truly pregnant, one recurring dream grew worse and yet, she kept it a secret, hidden, even from Edward. Now, every time she closed her eyes the recurring dream came of not only Edward being gone forever, but also her baby because they'd both been taken from her by a sinister, shrouded force, the Volturri, which had sentenced her to live immortality without them, eternity alone. Hell, pure hell, that's what the dream was. And now her nightmare was unfolding.

Carlisle could tell as he studied her that she was holding back. Coaxing her, "What is it, Bella?"

She hesitated for a moment, then blurted out, "I'm afraid… Edward and the baby…What if he never comes back," her voice escalating with each distressing thought.

He patted her hand in solace; yet, doubt did creep into her mind when she spoke about the baby, so softly, as if to keep it out of hearing range from her womb, "What if this baby _is_ a monster, Carlisle?" wringing her hands. "I don't want it to be, and in spite of everything, I don't _think it is_. I want my baby. I want Edward. I want him to love this child like I do," even then, she could only think of the welfare of her little nudger, the nickname she had given her child.

Placing his soothingly cold hand on her perspired forehead, Carlisle assured her, "Don't worry, Bella. You're safe here."

"And the baby? Edward?" her haggard features looking further worried; Carlisle didn't know himself what was in store for the couple, and that sincerely bothered him.

Hoping to change the subject, he smiled, "I would like to try something, Bella. I'd like you to allow Jasper to help you sleep. Giving you sleeping pills in your condition doesn't seem like a suitable option."

She couldn't deny she was exhausted; she'd refused sleep from the moment Edward walked out. 'No, he didn't walk out,' she told herself, 'He just needs time to process everything. He's just overwhelmed.' That was her new mantra in order to keep her borderline sanity during a very insane time. She had to admit, her life had become, indeed, that—overwhelming, which in her case, being a mortal married to a vampire, while almost being killed by several other vampires, was already overwhelming enough. Now it was to the extreme—like some bizarre Lifetime movie where the married couple gets mysteriously pregnant when the husband is supposed to be sterile and said husband wants to know how it could have happened and who the baby's real father is; though in her case, it wasn't that her husband, Edward, was questioning his paternity, he was questioning its species! Nonetheless, she was so tired she'd welcome sleep at this point, even if it meant having that awful dream again.

Ready to submit to its routine drudgery, her mind cried out in defiance, 'No!' Even though her worst fears were on a running course, she refused to let them win. She knew she had to fight to save her family, fight to save Edward—she'd done it once before without question, she'd do it again, now.

Mustering the strength to speak decisively to Carlisle, Bella squeezed his hand as hard as she could, "Find Edward. Bring him back."

Carlisle acknowledged her with a single nod, "He's my son." Bella nodded back, fully comprehending.

"And take Jacob with you," she instructed. Carlisle arched his pale brows at her demand. "I know they can't stand each other, but maybe he can help." Her hardened gaze connected with Carlisle's letting him know she wasn't joking.

Relaxing into the sofa as best she could, Bella conceded to falling asleep, "Jasper can come in now."

**Chapter 5**

Alice anxiously waited for Jasper to settle Bella. It wasn't easy keeping her secret to herself, but she knew she had to, for Bella's sake, as well as everyone else's, particularly after what just happened. She recalled in her head what had occurred.

She was consoling Bella with Esme when she felt the pressing need to leave the room. Once she cleared the area, she froze as the vision hit. Stop!

"No…Edward!" her murmured outburst filled with equal fright and fury.

As soon as Carlisle was out of earshot from Bella, Alice seized his hand to pull him aside.

"What is it, Alice?" his voice filled with fatherly concern.

Her hand was a firm vice on his arm. "I didn't want Bella to hear. There's no need to find Jacob Black,"

Carlisle looked at Alice with confusion then dread which quickly turned into alarm upon hearing her say, "My vision's a little hazy, but I think Edward crossed the Quileute's territory."

Carlisle's immediate frown meant he knew exactly what the result of that action would be. "How long ago?" he inquired.

"I don't know," as Alice's visions weren't always marked by exact time, and it had been several hours since Edward had left.

"Can you see the wolves?" he asked urgently. Alice shook her head no; that was the one flaw with her gift, the werewolves on the reservation seemed to be off-limits to her psychic abilities, but she had the power to occasionally follow Edward's movements, but only at random times and not by her purposeful doing.

Carlisle watched as Alice surveyed her mind. "Edward's running… running," her breath quickening, her grip tightening, "the wolves…," She stood there with her eyes and mouth wide open, a perfect O as she gasped from genuine surprise at what she was now able to see.

"Edward?" Carlisle hastily interjected.

She shook her head negatively, "No… Jacob."

"You can see Jacob?" Carlisle's ghostly face was as equally shocked as hers.

Something had drastically changed all right. Suddenly, Alice closed her eyes, her posture trembling; her final word of warning was a faint, "No,"

When she did open them, Carlisle was already gone.

**Chapter 6**

Jacob Black had been in a dead sleep when piercing howls woke him from it.

He sat up, startled, but instantly alert. Something was wrong. Seriously wrong. He shook the few remaining cobwebs from his brain, trying to figure out what the deal was.

"Jeez, I've been up for forty eight hours. Give me a break," he protested out loud. Sleep deprivation was the price he had to pay for being leader of his wolf pack.

He grudgingly sat up. Seconds later, there was a banging at the front door. Barely clad in one of his few, remaining cutoff sweats, he headed for the entrance. Not always one for manners, Jacob yelled out, "What?"

"Jacob, open up! It's Leah." 'Great!' he sarcastically thought. Leah was a member of his pack, but only because of her family ties to Seth; she was his older sister, but unlike Seth, whom Jacob genuinely liked and got along well with, Leah was a constant thorn in his hide, pun intended. As he opened the door, she rushed in, highly agitated.

"You gotta' come, Jacob. Edward Cullen has crossed the treaty line! He's tearing up the forest like some kind of nut. He's gone completely crazy!"

"What?" his confusion visible.

Leah continued, "Seth came across his path,"

All of a sudden, Jacob paid very close attention to what Leah was saying.

"What happened?" he barked at her.

"Seth tried to talk to him, but then Sam showed up and things got ugly," Jacob could only imagine what that meant. His stare was intense.

"What happened?" he flatly asked again.

Leah, not usually intimidated by Jacob's domineering presence, found herself only slightly guarded about telling him the rest. He noticed her hesitation. "Go on," prodding her. She relented, "Sam, well he got a little banged up but nothing drastic."

He knew she was holding out, "And?" he snapped.

"But Seth got hurt." Jacob's black eyes squinted with rage, his striking American Indian features glaring.

"Where's he now?"

"Back home, he's got some broken bones, a couple gashes."

Jacob pondered the information. He fixed his harsh gaze back on Leah. "Who did it?"

A moment's pause, then she said the name. "Cullen."

In an instant, he was out the door.

"Sam and his pack want to deal with him, Jacob. I say let them," yelling as she followed.

It was no secret that Leah disliked Edward and completely despised Bella, but she had to wonder if she was truly ready to instigate a war between the Quileutes and the Cullens. Jacob ordered her from over his shoulder, "Go home, Leah. Tell Sam Uley and the boys to stay out of it. I can handle Edward Cullen on my own. "

"No Jacob, Seth's my brother," Jacob knew the amiable connection Seth and Edward had after battling Victoria and her minions last summer, but he and Edward had never really put down their proverbial swords. Sure, Bella made them try to get along, but how could two men who loved the same woman honestly ever not see the other as their enemy, even when one threw in the towel. Jacob had done his best to do just that, release Bella, just accept her as his best friend and confidant; know that even though she did love him, she would always choose Edward. Always. No, matter what. But, he and Edward had never officially called a truce and if Edward was on Quileute land, it was obvious he didn't want one.

Jacob had to admit, he didn't quite know what to think, but Cullen crossing the line and hurting Seth was an act of war and if he wanted one, he would gladly bring it to him.

Jacob's sculpted body was a bristling tower as he prowled toward the woods.

"Go home, Leah! NOW!" he roared back.

Resentfully giving in, Leah headed home.

Jacob sprinted toward the woods, his heart beat wildly, his longs legs darted across the land. Though at a distance, he could already hear echoing crashes of what sounded like something very large smashing and breaking. As he got closer, still hidden, he could see Edward Cullen wildly launching large trees, literally ripping them right out of the ground, roots and all, across the forest, the force splintering the wooden missiles upon impact.

**Chapter 7**

Jacob's fury was at a maximum. So was Edward's. Therefore, even before hearing him bellow, "What the hell do you think you're doing, Cullen?" Edward knew Jacob was already there and in an instant he became the deadly predator that was true to his nature.

Crouched like an irate animal poised to strike, white skin glowing, eyes black, his fingers claw-like, a smile that was a terrifying and challenging grimace, he snarled, "You'd do better to come at me quick, Jacob Black"

Needing no further provocation, Jacob advanced upon him, lowering his wiry, 6'7 bronzed body for the ultimate battle, his black head of hair standing on end, dark, badly tempered eyes fixed on its target.

He surprisingly chose to remain in human form versus transforming for one specific and deliberate reason: Edward had made an agreement with Bella that he wouldn't read Jacob's mind without his permission, and it had to be an emergency in order for that, but Jacob's thoughts were vivid as Edward invaded them, 'Pick on me instead of Seth you blood sucking coward!... I'd love to kill you! … Take me on, bloodsucker… Man to man!'

In the single second it took Edward to peruse Jacob's thoughts it was only one more for him to sneer at his archrival, "Do your worst then, mongrel."

'Done,' was Jacob's only replying thought.

At once, they leapt into the night air, slamming into each other, one thunderbolt striking another, the force sending them both sprawling to opposite ends of the landscape, gouging the earth as they skidded along through it.

Edward and Jacob were back on their feet in no time. Primal growls of hate, anger, and jealousy filled the air, their glowering eyes communicating everything they despised about one another. If anyone was around, they stayed out of sight. Edward and Jacob charged again.

Edward grabbed Jacob by the shoulders and threw him into the remaining trees he hadn't knocked down. As Jacob hit the surface, large chunks of bark and branches scattered due to his body practically cleaving the tree in two. He howled with an intensity for all the world to hear as he hurled himself at Edward, rising up with what Edward thought was going to be a drop-kick to his chin, to instead deliver a stunning blow to his abdomen. Edward was flung backwards through the mangled forest, but he proceeded to right himself and drive Jacob down into the ground by leaping in the air and connecting his feet with his massive chest. With equally quick reflexes, Jacob grabbed hold of Edward's legs and slammed him onto the forest's floor after flipping him over his head with a tremendous thud that left a shuddering, gaping hole. Edward retaliated with a blinding lunge that connected his marble fist with Jacob's face, crunching his bones and propelling him backwards along the way.

A gutter brawl between the two titans ensued and they used everything they had at their disposal; dirt, sticks, and rocks, were furiously dug up and flung as additional weapons as they wrestled. Granted, Jacob was taller than Edward by several inches, but it was impossible to tell who was stronger. Their hatred for each other provided all the potent fire they needed, provoking them to bend and crush the other with grinding fists, stomping feet, and ripping claws.

They fought viciously, even beyond exhaustion, a considerable effort for a vampire and a werewolf, but there was still enough venom between the two to try and outsmart the other's maneuvers. Finally, in a calculating yet unintentional and simultaneous move, Edward and Jacob found themselves twisting in an attempt to finally conquer the other, resulting in each man clenching his opponent's throat, their powerful, unyielding fingers purposely squeezing, digging into the other's iron flesh, intent on an absolute kill. Both creatures, feral in sight with their rabid eyes and gnashing teeth, perfectly positioned to go for the other's jugular, the ultimate fatal strike, either by cosmic design or intervention, unexpectedly thought of Bella. Bella. Bella might scold them about a squabble, even a tousle, but she would never, ever forgive either one of them if they'd actually killed the other. And they both knew it. Not only that, but whomever the "winner" was wouldn't be able to love Bella hard or long enough to make her forget what had been done. Edward didn't have to read Jacob's mind to know he was thinking exactly that.

Understanding became plain in both their eyes.

******

Jacob: Breathing heavily, heated skin covered in dirt, sweat, and blood streaked gashes. Edward: Marble flesh sliced and muddied, hair filled with leaves and branches, clothes completely shredded. The Quileute forest: Thoroughly laid waste as if plowed by a runaway bulldozer.

Slowly, Jacob felt Edward release his grip and he reluctantly followed suit.

Instinctively sniffing the air, Edward's nose recoiled at the smell of Jacob's blood—wet dog. "Ugh, your blood reeks. I wouldn't drink it for all the money in the world."

Deadpan, Jacob responded "Funny, I'd gladly rid you of yours for free."

After all that had just transpired, after all that had been said and done, Jacob was truly puzzled to see his raging adversary withdraw into himself.

"Bella's dying, Jacob," Edward's voice desperate.

It took Jacob a moment to process what Edward had just said. "What?" he huffed in disbelief. Silence, tension, then Jacob's imposing posture stalked toward Edward once again, with a clear aim to successfully kill this time.

On a normal day, such as five minutes ago, Edward would have met Jacob's animosity with equal fervor, but now, after having already fought with him, he simply welcomed Jacob's hostility.

"What'd you do to her, you bloodsucker?" Jacob yelling in his face, his wrath renewed, his body flexed for combat once more. "You turned her didn't you? You sick bastard! You made her into one of you and now she's dead. Really dead! Didn't you?" all his questions coming at once.

"She's not deadlike _me_, Jacob. She's still human…but she's pregnant." Edward hung his head low as he had with Esme. Jacob, on the other hand, looked like he'd just been told he was actually a vampire instead of a werewolf after all this time—stunned, speechless.

"Huh?" sounding perplexed.

"You heard me," Edward quipped.

"I don't get it,"

"I'm not surprised," Edward snidely remarked.

"Hey, drop dead, bloodsucker. Oops, too late." Edward dismissed the retort.

Still not fully comprehending Edward's news, Jacob repeated, "Bella's pregnant?"

"Yes,"

"By _who_?"

Edward became most malevolent in his demeanor at Jacob's slandering jab, enough so that Jacob immediately knew who the "who" was. He frowned in disgust, "_You_? You got, Bella _pregnant_? With _what_?"

Bristling, Edward raised an eyebrow at the question, but Jacob ignored his posturing.

"I mean, you're a vampire! She's alive! You're dead! Howcould _you_ get Bella pregnant, Edward, if you don't mind my asking?"

A low rumble escaped Edward's chest, rising to his throat. "I _do_ mind. By the way, Jacob, Bella's _my_ _wife_, might I remind you. But if you must know, we're not exactly sure, though it would appear the child is… more like me." Edward thought it best to omit from Jacob some of the more graphic details such as the baby's current eating habits thereby linking the child genetically closer to him than Bella—he'd figure that out soon enough.

Luckily for Edward, Jacob was so stunned about how such a pregnancy could even happen he wasn't ready to satisfy his curiosity on what exactly "like me," meant. Not yet, anyway.

"It's not a normal pregnancy by any means and while she's certain this…_baby," _the venom once again, "is going to somehow be a typical child, I know it's not. It's killing her."

For a whole minute, Jacob was silent as he stared at Edward, a peculiar look on his face. Edward didn't want to break his promise to Bella once again, but Jacob's silence and odd expression seemed highly suspicious. He instantly regretted his intrusion—Jacob had always wanted Bella in every way; had always wondered what being with her physically would be like.

A guttural snarl was what Edward gave him in exchange for his crudeness, "Must you be so disgusting, Jacob?" his temper rising.

"Look who's talking, leech."

Settling down—eventually, both regained their composures to focus on the primary issue.

"Bella's really pregnant," Jacob repeated a third time.

"Yes, Jacob," Edward sighed wearily.

Jacob was curious enough about one thing, though, "You know it's killing her?"

"Stop by the house. You'll see."

Actually, Jacob had vowed to stay away from Bella when she had made it clear she was not only choosing Edward, but marrying him as well; that didn't last long at all, though. So when they did go through with it, Bella marrying a bloodsucker with plans of becoming a future bloodsucker herself, he swore he'd never see her again, for real this time. Making good on his pledge, he hadn't contacted Bella since finding out they'd return home from their honeymoon. Nonetheless, he unwillingly confessed he still wanted her in his life, despite all the grief loving her had caused him; much to Leah's dismay. Accepting his private declaration made him sad and bitter.

"Well, why does she want to have it then?" he heatedly asked.

Edward fully understood Jacob's contempt for him, and at that moment, he felt less than worthy as Bella's husband when he told him, "Because it's mine. Because I'm the father." Edward knew all along that had Bella chosen Jacob, her life would not have changed _that_ much; certainly, Jacob was a werewolf and that had complications of its own, but one thing was for sure, Bella would never have to die to her human life in order to be with him. Jacob knew it too, and it was that knowledge that kept his resentment for Edward so keen.

Frustrated, Jacob mockingly joked, "You know, Bella, always the martyr,"

"Yes," was all Edward could reply.

Jacob became quite solemn, then irritated, his black, wolfish eyes fuming, "Then what'd you come here for, Edward? Why'd you cross the treaty line and start wrecking the place? And why'd you hurt Seth? Sam can take care of himself, but Seth's just a kid. You _know_ your actions could have started a whole war tonight. Hell, they should have!"

Edward immediately showed remorse about Jacob's youngest pack member, "I'm sorry about Seth. He just got in the way of me and Sam. I didn't mean for him to get hurt. Is he okay?"

Jacob shrugged his shoulders, "I guess. He's banged up, though,"

With genuine regret and unease, Edward found a tree he hadn't put his fists through and leaned against it. "I, for a lack of a better word, snapped."

Jacob was instantly intrigued. "Snapped… how?"

Being naturally reactionary, Jacob stammered excitably before giving Edward a chance to explain, "You…you didn't hurt, Bella did you?"

Edward's immediate offense was true. "Of _course_ not! No! I could never do that!"

"Huh," Jacob cut in, "You may not have ever physically hurt, Bella, but you've hurt her Edward. Always remember that." Edward knew Jacob was referring to the time when he left Bella for the Volturri and Jacob took his place in her heart. Subsequently, Jacob would always be a part of Bella's overall being; if it hadn't been for him, Edward might not have had a Bella to return to.

He continued, "I was upset about her risking her life for a pregnancy that should not have ever happened, period. We're completely shocked by it. I'm terrified, honestly, because I know what the result of the birth will be. A monster. A monster I fathered. I couldn't stand watching what it was doing to her anymore. She's so weak, Jacob and grows weaker by the day. At first, we weren't sure what the baby wanted or needed and yet it kept growing at an incredible rate. Now we know exactly what it wants—her," Edward shivered. "It's frightening. So I got angry…and I left."

Jacob quickly turned, "You left Bella?"

Edward's tormented expression curbed Jacob's opinion that it was for mere frivolous reasons he took off. "I could never leave her, you know that. But, how do I make her listen to reason? She's so stubborn, you know that as well as I do, Jacob Black. She's determined to have this child and there seems to be nothing I can do about it. No amount of power I possess matters. I guess what I'm trying to say is Bella's having my baby, more than likely will die delivering it, and, and…" His empty lungs exhaled deeply. "And I don't know what else I can do. I just know I can't live without her… so you know what the only option is."

Jacob's face fell, he shook his head no, "Don't say it."

Edward's poignant stare met his. "What choice do I have?"

"You do have a choice, keep Bella alive—human."

"It's not what she wants, Jacob," Edward sounding resigned to surrender what he had strived so hard to preserve since meeting Bella—her life, her humanity, her "humanness".

Jacob tried to hit with a verbal comeback, but he couldn't think of one. Edward was right. Everyone who was "in the know" knew what Bella's ultimate goal was, besides evidently having some kind of creepy vampire kid. She wanted to be a Cullen in the worst way, not just in name only.

There was a slight sound of an approach, too faint to be detected by human ears, but perfectly audible for Edward and Jacob. They both faced the direction of the disturbance, their heightened senses fully aware. Someone was definitely coming. They braced themselves for their intruder.

Out of the darkness stepped Carlisle, looking composed but very serious.

"Carlisle," Edward gasped. He was honestly surprised to see him, "What are you doing here?"

"Looking for you, Edward,"

Baffled, he asked his father, "How did you know I was here?"

"Alice,"

'Alice?' Edward thought to himself, but how could she? His mouth opened in astonishment. Everyone knew Alice couldn't track the Quileute territory, or the wolves on its land, and her visions of him, unlike with others, were often indiscriminate; he'd have to find out more about that later.

Carlisle surveyed the damage the two had inflicted on the area and to each other; the upturned earth, the broken trees, their battered, disheveled appearances. He looked calm but disquieted as he assessed the situation—he was definitely not pleased.

Carlisle formally addressed Jacob first. "Jacob Black, you are the leader of the Quileute pack. The treaty between your tribe and my family has been broken. Do you wish to take action against us?"

It was all on Jacob, the future of his entire tribe and pack plus that of the Cullens was his to make. He took it very seriously.

Jacob acknowledged he was…okay with Carlisle; he doctored Seth, and himself, when going to a regular doctor was out of the question after they got badly hurt during the time the Cullens and the werewolves fought Victoria. It wasn't his fault Edward was a jerk—well, technically it was, but Jacob never forgot what Carlisle did for the pack.

Not as diplomatic a spokesperson he simply stated, "It's no big deal. Though I think Seth could probably use some stitching up." Edward didn't turn away from Carlisle's admonishing glare upon hearing about Seth.

"Certainly, I'd be glad to look at him." Carlisle inhaled tightly, followed by a strained release of his breath, "Thank you, Jacob."

"I'll let everyone know it's okay for you to pass," Jacob finalized.

Carlisle's steely attention went back to Edward. "Shall we go?"

Jacob didn't need to hang around any further to witness this father, son moment, though the prospect of seeing Edward get "chewed out" by his "dad" could be comical fodder for future…incidents, but even he had his standards—dads reaming you in front of your sworn enemies was off limits. So he took off. A slight trot became a full sprint as he strode across the land. He became the wolf midstride. Just like Edward, he needed to do some running of his own as he also had a lot to think about.

Bella was pregnant with a vampire's spawn. There goes that pledge again.

**Chapter 8**

Once Edward and Carlisle were back on neutral territory, Carlisle asserted his paternal authority. "What you've done here tonight is troubling, son. I know you're upset, and unsure of what to do, and I know you need time to think, but you know you should not have crossed the Quileute territory like that. Your actions were dangerous and could have jeopardized us all."

Edward was a grown man, but he still had the utmost respect for Carlisle, his immortal earthly father, the maker of his present life so he took his lumps. "I know. I'm sorry, Carlisle."

"I know you didn't intend to be so reckless, but you must be more careful. If it hadn't been for Alice's vision, I wouldn't have even thought to look for you here, Edward."

He looked up, "I need to talk to Alice,"

"And Bella," Carlisle sternly interjected at Edward's interruption. "Bella asked me to look for you. She even wanted me to bring Jacob, but obviously you went looking for him yourself…why?"

Edward turned away as he remained silent. He didn't want to explain to Carlisle that in a fit of jealous rage, amongst other, he concluded, very valid, but in hindsight, careless reasons, he almost cost his family everything. Carlisle tensely waited.

"Do you want to tell me what happened with Jacob?"

Edward looked off into the distance instead. "No."

Reluctantly withdrawing, "Well, perhaps later then, but Edward, we do need to talk…about Bella," Carlisle stated.

Edward was monotone as he asked, "How is she?"

"She's scared. Just like you,"

He nodded in acknowledgement, "I think Bella has no idea just how scared I am," running his fingers through his hair.

"I think she understands now." Edward winced at Carlisle's sobering words. "Son, I know what's happening to Bella terrifies you. We're all taken aback about it and I wish I could ease your mind by telling everything with the pregnancy will be fine, but…well, you are going to have to make a decision on how you want to handle the future, Edward, Bella's future."

Edward closed his eyes, while knowing what he'd just disclosed to Jacob about Bella's so-called option, the thought of the inevitable was still an arguable subject for him.

"I don't want to take her life, Carlisle. I don't want to condemn Bella to have to suffer like I did, even more so because of what she'd be giving up—Charlie, Renee, her whole life unlived, because of me, because of what I am. That's how much I. Love. Her," emphasizing the last three words.

"I know you don't want to end her life, Edward. And maybe you won't have to, but you are Bella's husband, now, and she needs you. Regardless of what happens, she needs you, Edward, just like you need her. There is no one else for you. There is no one else you will love, but her. And she can't go through this alone."

Edward thought bitterly about the decision that couldn't be avoided; the choice he wanted to make versus the one he knew he couldn't. "So I'm just supposed to gladly stand by and watch this child, _my child,_ destroy her because she's happy to die for me?"

Carlisle read the mixture of love and angst written on his "firstborn's" face. "No, son, you're supposed to stand by her because she's your wife. And because you love her."

**Chapter 9**

Bella's dream: She was standing alone in the meadow, the one she and Edward had always called their own, their sanctuary; a magical place that was lush and green speckled throughout with colorful wildflowers, the sun shining through with beauty and warmth. It was a place that held both great joy and sorrow. It was here where he revealed his true dazzling self to her and where he broke her heart; their history would always keep her tied to this place.

She began to look for Edward, enjoying the unfiltered sun. Like him now, she sparkled in its light, comforted by its rays. She walked for a long time, never ending it seemed and yet she still couldn't find him. She called out to him, but there was no answer. Suddenly, a smiling baby boy who looked just like Edward was in her arms. She marveled at him as she realized he was her child, Edward's son. She felt an overwhelming sense of love for him and when he smiled, even his brightly white, tiny sharp teeth did not deflect nor caution her affections. He was their child and she cuddled him to her, kissing his round face and stroking his curly dark hair, Charlie's hair.

She lost time as she happily played with him.

All of a sudden, Bella felt an invisible, but ominous presence surround her, the sky turning from a cerulean blue to midnight within seconds, a blackness that steadily spread across the sky. There was something sinister in the darkness as it covered the meadow. She couldn't see, but she knew she wasn't alone and she knew, fearfully, it wasn't Edward who was there.

They slowly came into being through the black trees. Flowing black gowns, powder white faces shrouded in hoods, skeletal-like fingers that were extended in judgment, punishment, and death, pointed directly at her. The Volturri—Aro, Caius, Marcus, Demetri, Felix, Jane, Alec and…? Bella couldn't quite make out the figure in the middle, at first, and then it became horrifyingly clear…Edward! Her shocked vision prevented her from moving as she took in his company and position within the clan. Edward was with the Volturri—he was theirs now, his love for her forgotten and he, they, wanted the child she pressed to her breast. Not to induct, but to destroy, to destroy her with the ultimate punishment.

Bella was immortal now, but Edward was lost to her, forever, and so too would be her child.

She ran with her baby, the green eyed, curly-haired boy she wanted to protect, but she couldn't get away, despite the speed and the power. She ran while they steadily glided toward her, easily catching up with her. "No! No!" she cried out as their hands grabbed at her body, snatching, grabbing, pulling the baby away from her. "Edward, No!" Bella screamed as he took the boy and turned from her. "Don't' go!"

He never once spoke as he walked away. He never looked back. They were gone. Bella crumpled at the loss, weeping phantom tears as she heard her baby cry for her embrace, weeping forever.

**Chapter 10**

At last, it was over.

Always the same dream, always the same ending.

And then Bella's nightmare began to change.

She watched in awe as the Edward she knew, dressed in white, looking like a beautiful angel lit from within, came from across the field to stand beside her. She swung her head back to see that the Edward that had just crushed and condemned her very soul was staring menacingly back at them. She wondered, 'How can this be?'

She looked up at him, her Edward, as the confusion set in. With love sparkling in his eyes, Edward reassured her of whom he was, "Bella, it's me. I'm here. I'm right here."

He faced the opposing field head on, hardening his stance as he took in the scene.

The Volturri stood before them holding the child in a threatening manner. Edward shook his head in an affirmed warning as he told them mentally to let his baby go and leave Bella alone. They refused. Edward inhaled deeply, his chest physically expanding with a surging energy, his hair standing wildly on end with his fists clenched, animating the veins in his arms and hands to fluctuate as if charged by an electric current; his physical reaction was not enough to capture the ferocity his threatening stare was, though, like lighting, when he assaulted their minds. His thoughts were closed to Bella, but whatever was said caused the Volturri to writhe in loathsome aggravation and silent agony as they gnashed their teeth and drew their hands to shroud their ears, clutching their heads in defeat, forced to retreat.

In the ethereal chaos, Edward stretched out his hand to his own nemesis, the look-a-like creature, the monster that was not the person he was, nor wanted to be.

With all the power he possessed within himself, Edward forced open its lethal grip, releasing his son gently and exuding a gravitational power that drew the child back into Bella's arms. Once safely there, Edward looked upon his family, taking Bella's hand and holding it up to his lips. He kissed it, his warm amber eyes focused solely on her, followed by him running his fingers along her alabaster cheek.

She reacted swiftly to his touch. Balancing the baby on her hip, Bella used her free hand to cling Edward's palm to her face. Human tears trickled down her immortal cheeks as she reveled at the feel of his touch. At last, she heard her favorite melody, "I love you, Bella. No, matter what."

**Chapter 11**

Bella opened her eyes. "Edward," she vaguely heard her own voice call out to him. From a distance someone was calling her name as well, "Bella…Bella." Through the fog of her memory, she began to remember. 'He was here, he was here!' she faintly cried to herself, her body too heavy with sleep to properly protest.

Slowly blinking, trying to adjust to the dim, she steadily became aware of her quiet surroundings. When at last her vision cleared, she didn't fully trust it. Edward's angelic face was shinning before her. Just like in her dream. Was he real? Had her beautiful Adonis come home? She momentarily closed her eyes and when they fluttered open again, Edward's smoldering gaze bore into her whole being and as their eyes locked, their hearts reconnected. They belonged to no one other than to each other. In the silence of their reunion, apologies were made, understood, even though they were unspoken. This time, when Bella reached for him, Edward lovingly enveloped her fragile hand with his own. As he did so, she inhaled deeply at his proven presence his honey-lilac scent and cool touch provided her. Never losing sight of him, Bella watched as Edward pressed his firm lips to her hand. He refused to let go.

"Just like the dream…" her whisper trailing off.

"What dream?" his voice soft, velvety.

Bella swallowed, "You were gone… gone forever Edward…the Volturri…they wanted you…and you were with them,"

With his other hand Edward's long fingers gently stroked her arm back and forth as he said, "No, sweetheart. Never, I'm here, right here," the words straight from her dream.

She had been haunted by her nightmare for so long, hesitant, she solemnly asked, "Where'd you go, Edward?"

Still holding her hand, he faced downward as his lips turned up in a puckish grin.

"What?" Bella queried.

His smile did not waiver, "I…accidentally ran into Jacob."

At first, her eyebrows arched, then furrowed, "Accidentally?" Being well aware of how these two mythical creatures got along, her game plan had been that somehow Carlisle and Jacob _together _would look for Edward. She never intended for the two to meet up without a proper chaperon…or a mediator.

Edward sensed her apprehension. His naughty grin widened. "No need to worry, sweetheart. He's all right. We both are," as he flexed his fingers. "I can't say the same for the forest, however."

'Hhm' Bella deliberated silently, 'that can't be good…'

Edward didn't offer any additional information.

"I see," sounding clinical, "so did Carlisle find you, too?" she nudged further.

"Afterwards,"

Ugh! A story was obviously there and Bella debated whether or not she wanted Edward to disclose it. Within seconds, she couldn't appease her curiosity or suspicions any longer. "Do I want to know, Edward?" her voice even, but firm, was met by silence.

Edward's haughty smile became coy as he murmured, "Someday,"

He took her hand in order to cup his cold marble cheek and shut his golden brown eyes. Bella studied his expression before she carried on, took in the beauty of its perfection, how still his features were; she hoped there would soon be peace there.

"In the dream… the baby…they tried to take it too…to destroy it, but you came back, Edward. You came back for me and the baby—for both of us."

Edward moved his hand to carefully lay it upon Bella's rounded belly. He was still uncertain about her pregnancy's outcome, but one thing was for sure, "I love you, Mrs. Cullen," the dream coming full circle as he focused his sight on her.

"I love you, too," Bella beamed, "Mr. Cullen." Edward leaned over to kiss his wife's pale, weary, but lovely forehead, eyes, cheeks, nose, and mouth, savoring every part, inhaling her scent as he went along, granting her all the tenderness his immortal heart could give.

"Don't worry, Bella, I'll be with you now and forever. I promise."

"No, matter what?" she whispered.

"No, matter what."

**The End**

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